This year, our amazing sponsors have donated the sweetest prizes imaginable! We’re not talking about dust collectors like ribbons or medals. We’re talking about stuff that we want to keep for ourselves! But, alas, that isn’t how it works.
The top 3 winners have these wonders to look forward to:
First Place
Adobe CS4 Web Premium
Engraved Apple iPad
Rock Band 2 Game Bundle
Second Place
Rock Band 2 Game Bundle
$250 in Cash
Third Place
Limited Edition Gowalla iPod Nano
Rock Band 2 Video Game
We’ll also have amazing, non-stop giftaways™ all evening, so even if you aren’ competing, chances are you won’t go home empty handed!
Will the contestants knock socks and blocks off? Change games? Blow minds? Happy Cog humbly submits the following public service announcement for your consideration.
There are not one, but TWO amazing versions of the official OK! Happy Cog’aoke poster.
They were designed by the amazingly brilliant Tom Whalen, who you can find out about at strongstuff.net.
They were hand screened by the astonishingly talented Kyle Van Horn, who you can find out about at kylevanhorn.com/.
They cannot wait to be held by you.
Available in unlimited quality but very limited quantity at the event only, you can purchase one for $20, or get one of each color for the reduced price of $30.
We will also have very limited quantities of posters and t-shirts from 2009, at prices too low to be mentioned in a public forum.
World renowned for his captivating but off-the-cuff speaking style and UIE’s real-world approaches to usability and the user experience, the only thing more magical than his illusions are his Beyonce impressions. Jared has chosen to honor our judges table with his insights on the competitor’s karaoke cunning, and we’re most grateful for it! Make no mistake, if you do something on that stage that doesn’t work the way it was intended, not only will he tell you, but he’ll probably illustrate it with a magic trick or if we’re lucky, a visual aid made of thousands of feet of yarn.
Jared has these words of wisdom to share with Cog’aoke hopefuls.
1. What rocks Jared Spool? Or, can you cite a recent example of Jared Spool being rocked?
I love quirky cover songs, so great karaoke is what I’m looking for. I’m also a big fan of lounge music. Let’s start with Wayne Newton’s Danke Shen and go from there.
2. Is talent measured qualitatively or quantitatively? Elaborate.
Yes. (I give that answer a 7.2. However, I don’t know what the scale is, so I can’t tell if that’s a good score or not.)
Serious answer: Talent is not measured, it’s appreciated. People without talent see it as something unattainable. People with talent value the effort behind achieving it.
One can assess talent, but the real value is experiencing it.
3. Describe the worst mistake a karaoke singer can make.
Not trying.
Oh, and singing something from Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen.
4. Is there a “Karaoke 2.0,” or is it just a meaningless buzzword made by the karaoke media?
No, it’s real. It’s any Karaoke with rounded corners, gradients, and Ajax.
5. Finish this sentence: karaoke will change the world when…
...the fat lady sings. No, wait. That’s something else.
This may or may not feel like the first time you’ve heard of Jenn Lukas. But whether you know it or not, you’ve been waiting for a girl like her. She loves the night life and plays the head games with the best of them, but when it comes to front-end development, her XHTML/CSS skills are as cold as ice. She’s the box model hero. When she’s not hanging out with dirty white boys, she wants to know what love is: karaoke love. Will you be her karaoke true love?
Maybe if you can sing like Lou Gramm you will.
Here’s just a few karaoke insights from Ms. Lukas herself.
1. What rocks Jenn Lukas? Or, can you cite a recent example of Jenn Lukas being rocked?
2. Is talent measured qualitatively or quantitatively? Elaborate.
Totes qual to the max.
3. Describe the worst mistake a karaoke singer can make.
Stand still karaoke.
There is no such thing as “bad dancing” but there is such a thing as no dancing.
4. Is there a “Karaoke 2.0,” or is it just a meaningless buzzword made by the karaoke media?
5. Finish this sentence: karaoke will change the world when…
We gather 65 Karaoke competitors, made up of the top ranked entries as well as geographic conference winners, into a single elimination tournament. And we will build a legacy that includes dynasty teams and dramatic underdog stories. And Vegas will have a line we can bet on. We will make up great names for this, like the Big Dance, and converse about bursting bubbles and cinderella teams. And what will be left, will be one karaoke champion to rule the world.
The competition will end, but the singing must go on! After the winners have been announced, we’re opening the floodgates for a straight up karaoke party, my friends!
We’ve got about 25 spots, with literally 27 or more people clawing at the chance to make it to the Cog’aoke stage. So sign up in advance and pick a true original from our catalog to secure your spot. If 15 people want to sing the same old song (Don’t Stop Believing, anyone?), we’re going to curate that content with a fist gloved in smooth velvet.
And this year, it’s not just about you and your love of karaoke. If you sign up for open karaoke, you’ll be encouraged to make a cash donation to a Haiti Relief Fund on the spot, so bring a few extra Benjamins, Hamiltons, or whatever you can, to help make a difference in Haiti.
Till the one day when the Storey met this Zeldman.
And they knew that it was much more than a lunch.
That their ninjas would join forces to build great websites.
That’s the way they all became the Happy Cog (West).
The Happy Cog (West)!
The Happy Cog (West)!
Greg Storey is the President of Happy Cog! West!
Here’s what Greg Storey is looking forward to as one of our esteemed karaoke evaluation consultants:
1. What rocks Gregory Storey? Or, can you cite a recent example of Gregory Storey being rocked?
Nothing rocks my world more than Macallan 18 year poured over chipped ice made from virgin tears. Stay sad ladies, daddy needs his scotch ice.
2. Is talent measured qualitatively or quantitatively? Elaborate.
Neither. It is measured in pain. As in, how painful is it to have to endure said person’s “talent.” If the answer is none, then we’re good. Beyond that, it’s all about the trust fall. If you can stage dive at a Karaoke contest and the audience catches you because they support your rock, then it doesn’t matter if you’re singing through a throat mic, you’ve won.
3. Describe the worst mistake a karaoke singer can make.
Wearing a fedora during their performance. Hi, Patrick.
4. Is there a “Karaoke 2.0,” or is it just a meaningless buzzword made by the karaoke media?
Listen, Karaoke 2.0 is a load of crap. It’s well known that there are some in the industry (Hello, Detroit, Jersey and Toledo) are looking for any shortcut to get to the top. “K2” is just the latest fad in a long line of schemes. Anyone can lipsync, but Karaoke is the real deal. To be the King of Karaoke requires one thing: A bitching voice, a rockin bod, and a lot of hard work and tears. Ok, make that four things, but they’re all really rolled up into one.
5. Finish this sentence: karaoke will change the world when…
Perhaps you know Kristina from her amazing book, Content Strategy for the Web. Perhaps you know her from her amazing web content agency, Brain Traffic. Or, perhaps you’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with her in Norway at what they call an amazing “vodka tasting.” Skål!
If you haven’t had any of those amazing experiences, you’ll get the chance to hang with Kristina when she serves the karaoke community by judging who can truly be the one true Cog’aoke champion. Her commentary is guaranteed to be highly usable and in the perfect emotional tone for the audience, which is to say her insights will rock your socks off.
Here’s just a taste:
1. What rocks Kristina Halvorson? Or, can you cite a recent example of Kristina Halvorson being rocked?
Just last week, I had the compulsory opportunity to attend my 5-year-old’s elementary school talent show. In between the violin solos, the awkward dance routines, and me wanting to stab myself in the face, this kid came onstage to tap dance. His mother played the piano and sort of did this weird tuneless singing in the background, and you felt sorry for the kid almost instantly, because whose mother DOES that!? Plus with the tap shoes… Anyhow, little dude WENT FOR IT. Elbows up, knees bent, arms flailing, big grin, the works. He also slipped and fell like five times, but check it out: he kept. On. Going.
My little tap-dancing pal, he rocked me. No self-consciousness whatsoever. Just a total lack of rhythm and enough enthusiasm to power a mid-sized generator. This kid loved to tap dance, and baby, it showed.
2. Is talent measured qualitatively or quantitatively? Elaborate.
Quantitatively, with the primary metric being how much bourbon I’ve had to drink.
3. Describe the worst mistake a karaoke singer can make.
Chaps.
4. Is there a “Karaoke 2.0,“ or is it just a meaningless buzzword made by the karaoke media?
Meaningless. In fact, not only meaningless, but insulting and somewhat ridiculous. Karaoke cannot evolve. It has already attained the highest, purest state of being there is. You know. Like Oral Roberts.
5. Finish this sentence: karaoke will change the world when…
...Keyboard Man is appointed to the Supreme Court.
We’ve added a 16th contestant slot, and you have to choose between the top 4 remaining contestants in 24 hours—who do you want to see?
Did we have this planned from the start? Who cares! Now’s your chance to pick the person you want to see the most. And there’s no limit on voting, but you only have 24 hours to make it happen. We won’t be sharing the vote tally while voting is going on, so you’ve got to wait and see who wins.
See who is the final, 16th contestant tomorrow at noon!
There are not one, but TWO amazing versions of the official OK! Happy Cog’aoke poster. 
World renowned for his captivating but off-the-cuff speaking style and UIE’s real-world approaches to usability and the user experience, the only thing more magical than his illusions are his Beyonce impressions. Jared has chosen to honor our judges table with his insights on the competitor’s karaoke cunning, and we’re most grateful for it! Make no mistake, if you do something on that stage that doesn’t work the way it was intended, not only will he tell you, but he’ll probably illustrate it with a magic trick or if we’re lucky, a visual aid made of thousands of feet of yarn.
This may or may not feel like the first time you’ve heard of Jenn Lukas. But whether you know it or not, you’ve been waiting for a girl like her. She loves the night life and plays the head games with the best of them, but when it comes to front-end development, her XHTML/CSS skills are as cold as ice. She’s the box model hero. When she’s not hanging out with dirty white boys, she wants to know what love is: karaoke love. Will you be her karaoke true love? 
Here’s the story,